I keep seeing and hearing derivations of this when I read news articles or listen to people. “I have done everything I am supposed to do, and I am still facing challenges.” It has variations such as replacing challenges with troubles, hardships, etc. It baffles me as it is being said in reference to a variety of things. Such things include a personal disaster or not being able to find a job. The most recent example for me is in a Wall Street Journal article where a young man who is trying to find a job but is going to grad school instead because he cannot. Please do not take what I am saying as a negative judgement of the young man’s position but the expression is so misplaced. It is as if the people who are saying it believe that there is some magical receipt of choices in life that keep bad things from happening or that make sure that you only have good things happen to you. When I have thought “I have done everything I am supposed to do, and I am still facing challenges”, it has been in reference to a moral and ethical dilemma. IE trying to do the right thing at a business where the management was doing anything but. I was also much younger when I had such thoughts, as I have realized that my moral compass is not always aligned with everyone else’s. However, even with age and experience, I do still see how such a thought can be caught in the mind of someone in a moral and or ethical dilemma, but not because you cannot find a job or had some bad thing happen. I state this because jobs, your house not burning down(note my house did burn down one month before my daughter was born nearly 2 decades ago), someone getting cancer, or any of the other bad parts of life hit you, are situations that are largely out of a persons control. Before you tell me how wrong I am, YES you do influence them. You can get training, you can not fall asleep with a cigarette in your hand, etc. but these are not guarantees but rather may be wise actions, depending on what we are talking about and background(note it was my neighbor in the next townhouse that fell asleep with the cigarette). While on the other hand, if you are witness to a crime or an unethical situation at work, and chose to do the right thing, you can say to yourself “I have done everything I am supposed to do, and I am still facing challenges,” when you get repercussions. At first, I thought when trying to understand this misalignment of expectations, it might be an age thing, noting that my teenage daughter likes to call me old as a joke; but as I look back, I think I see this attitude in people of all ages. I am curious of the thoughts of those on this site about the reasoning behind such thinking. I will elaborate further if people respond and if pertinent to my initial thoughts that it is less about being immature(my first thoughts) and more about people feeling that life owes them something. I will add that there is only one thing that life owes a person and that is death. That sounds cold but to accept it is rather freeing.
I think that the problem is not if life owes us anything. The problem is that existence is able to be so harsh, so terrible, so cruel, that you cannot think of it or live it peacefully. This means that even the most obvious and elementary truths, such as “being is, not being is not”, or “2+2=4” cannot be thought as if they were just peaceful truths. The statement “2+2=4” is full of tragedy because it is impossible to us to think of it without, at the same time, being immersed in our condition of suffering beings. Neutrality in impossible in this world, we can choose to be hypocritical and think that it is possible, but actually it is not. Thisb is the root of the problem, of the contradiction “I have done everything I am supposed to do, and I am still facing challenges”. Apparently 2+2=4 looks like a totally neutral statement, but actually it is not, not in human existence.
The idea that things should go well so long as one behaves is similar to the “just world hypothesis”. It seems the world is not really just, rather people and institutions are just, and that is the apparent derivation of such thoughts. “The system is not working”.
I suspect that when someone expresses consternation that the world is treating them unfairly they’re not making a serious argument but merely providing data that they’re suffering hardship and are, at base, looking to be attended to by anyone who can assist.
To me, “the universe mistreats me” is a faintly humorous (because life treats us all unfairly at times) admission that things are currently suboptimal. I find it hard to believe anyone would charge reality with the responsibility that they should be treated in a certain way, but I am willing to be surprised.
It seems to me a perfectly reasonable response to a system that demands things from its citizens (usually from a very young age, at which point the individual obviously has no real means of objection), and fails to deliver them what was promised in return.
So you believe that promises have been made? I ask because I have heard no promises other than a right to pursuit. To pursuit dose not imply to obtain. I guess I see it as analysis to hunting. It does not mean that I will kill a dear, just because I go out to the woods with a rifle while dressed in camo. What it means is that I have a greater opportunity of killing a dear than if I sat on my butt watching tv.
“I find it hard to believe anyone would charge reality with the responsibility that they should be treated in a certain way, but I am willing to be surprised.”
Is it not what they are doing with saying that they have done everything right but are still having troubles? I guess what I am getting at is that I hear many of my generation and some older that they find the current younger generation feels like they are owed something. I disagree that this is a generational issue as I have seen it from all ages but the bigger observation stands "do some people just feel like life owes them and is this seen in the idea that the government thus owes them?
Oh, for sure. People are implicitly promised all sorts of things (and sometimes even explicitly) from a very young and impressionable age. By their parents, by the school system, by society at large, etc. There’s no question.
I find your response interesting and will preface mine with: I am a Christian who has attended seminary. I did not finish as I am not “preacher” material. Unrelated to that, I was an engineer so I tend to be pragmatic or I will at least blame it on that. Chicken or the egg kind of thing. I am way off topic, so back to it. I guess I see a similar attitude which I think is SO WRONG within other Christians. This idea that if they are sinless, God will bless them. All it takes is a good read of the Bible to see two things. One, you can and will never be sinless. Two, even if you are near sinless or what some might call righteous, you will still feel the pain of life through hardships for a lack of better ways of putting it. So I am stuck with the notion, is this immaturity?
Part of my post was to explain that some utterances are intended to be an expressive “speech act” rather than a serious argument. I suspect these people are merely voicing a proximal commentary on their own lives rather than actually saying something they think is totally true.
Similar happens when people say they “want to die” or that someone should “just kill them”. Most of the time this is merely expressive. Humans love exaggeration. But without knowing the context, one can only speculate, as I am doing. Who knows what these complaining people really think?
So it is like being told that Santa Claus exist and you better be nice? I guess this is the difference for me, I was never allowed to believe in Santa. I just laughed as I wrote this but please note it was not at you but at the notion of Santa
Many children feel genuine betrayal over learning that Santa Claus doesn’t exist.
Now imagine promises that bear actual weight - for which the individual bore an actual cost in order to fulfill their end of the deal.
Ultimately, it’s an expression of disillusionment. The next step is getting off society’s hamster wheel.