“I spend so much time believing all the lies just to keep the dream alive.”
Maybe that is just how it works, Maybe it is the habit of a lonely man to feed himself a steady diet of stories just to keep dreaming, to feel special and to find a reason to exist and feel human again. It is a defense mechanism .After all, having something even a made-up story is better than the empty feeling of being completely alone. Right? Right?!
Or
maybe the lie works the other way around. It could be that you are looking at the real truth, calling it a “lie" and using that as an excuse to quit and run away from your dreams. Those dreams belong to a past that hurts now & Calling them lies just makes it easier to walk away from the pain
But no matter which side is right, the end result is exactly the same “I have spent most of my life inside my own mind instead of the real world”
It is definitely safer in here
But you cannot touch the grass inside your head
You just stay stuck in your thoughts ..forever disconnected, forever incomplete..
Hey there! Don’t be so hard on yourself. Happiness is actually easy once you stop arguing with it.
And everything is stories and it’s all made up. That’s how humans live.
One can go out and party and say “I had the time of my life” whereas another might say “I wasted so much time”
Same with staying at home. If anything I’d say don’t live today appealing to better tomorrow. Just live today for today.
And you can’t lie to yourself, especially about the future, that is definitionally impossible. If it comes true, at best it’s a good guess.
So go out, don’t go out. It’s all okay, no universal judge will come down and tell you you’re a failure. You’re free, be free.
To me, this invokes shades of autism, or neurodivergence. This is a lot like our ND lives. When you are universally rejected, you must develop and invent a life inside your own head, or…?
But I doubt this is what you wanted to discuss. So I’ll stop here.
