A starving child staring at food on the top shelf: for some of us, all we can do is stare—do you know what that feels like? There’s a point where a dog is so starving that it stops trying to eat: instead, it seeks for nourishment within itself because it is the only kind of food it can have. The man directs himself inward because he cannot have anything outwardly; and this immense lack of opportunity squeezes his soul into selflessness: the thoroughly starved dog starts gnawing off its own leg to feed another. The selfless act is seen as a triumph over the unconquerable scorn of chance—he may not eat, but he can conquer his own character by using himself as a means for others. The sacrifice is, however alleviating, forced; leaving it distinct from the starved dog that chooses not to eat the food given to them to give it to another. By the deprived dog understanding his plight of forced selflessness, he realizes that he has been robbed of the opportunity to be selfless just as much as to be selfish: he wants to give up even the pursuit of his character, because it lacks any moment where he could choose to keep the food for himself. Despite this, he conjures up the courage to do what is right by fighting against his only power, which is the ability to quit altogether. This relentless spirit to do good despite knowing it is the making of forced options is the display of reverence towards goodness that affords him the assurance that he would be a truly good person if he could—if he were to be given food right now, he surely would feed his brothers and sisters instead of taking it for himself. However, that day will never come, and so the true selflessness of the act remains forever out of reach. For some of us, we are lepers. We who are not meant to be fed or loved, but sent here to be the means to test the selflessness of another.
Is there a point you want to make here, is there something specific you want to discuss?
Starvation mode or true anorexia are real conditions that a living being goes through when deprived of food. But dogs like most mammals burn their own body fat, not chew their feet off. And I seriously doubt that they even consider giving food to others if they still have the strength to fight for it.
The story isn’t about dogs…
These would be interesting topics to discuss, but it looks like the OP is in the process of painting a portrait of human suffering. I find it quite powerful imagery. Now if someone could paint/photograph it, that would go very nicely on a big wall or, appropriately scaled, on a desk. Goya in words.
Grace is very Christian in spirit, but if it’s there in this Goyaesque tale, I don’t see it.
CC: @Sir2u
I’m not sure how dog imagery was misconstrued as literal; but it is worth mentioning that we have plenty of examples of animals that will, in fact, sacrifice themselves. E.g., the octopus that starved to death for 4 years to take care of her offspring. Of course, I don’t think a dog would actually eat off it’s own leg; but that’s despite the point.
I guess it is Goyaesque, and meant to capture the moments of consciousness developing in a person finds themselves starving of some good. I have a lot of writings similar to this one, and was posting this one to see if anyone is interesting in discussing them. It seems like no one really is.
It’s a subject matter of great art and religion and philosophy and, at one point, science. It’s tough to be off-topic given such finger-in-every-pie-ness. I’m currently studying Christianity, which boils down to Christus dolens (the suffering Christ) and via dolorosa (the way of pain).